Hey there. Merry Christmas, Happy Hannukah (why isn't it "Merry Hannukah"?), and a very special Kwanzaa wish for you all. Rumor has it that Kwanzaa was started by a former black panther...this rumor is not confirmed. If you want to Snopes it, be my guest.
So, I was surprised this holiday with a visit from my father and stepmother. A nice surprise, indeed. We hung out and went driving to the national park...ending up in beautiful Cherokee, NC. Understand when I say "beautiful", I really mean "ass-ugly". I have to say that we have treated our native peoples right!
Then we did what most people do on Xmas eve...we went to the casino. What the hell else is there to do on such an occasion? So, there we were with a few hundred other degenerate gamblers, sucking down second hand smoke, and losing much dollars in the indian equivalent of a "one armed bandit". Gambling sucks. I always lose, it's in the genes. I bet anything I will never gamble again.
Xmas was a glutton-fest. Dad and Linda stayed for most of the morning on christmas before shoving off to Indiana to visit other family. It was really nice to see my crazy-ass dad. He's a good guy.
That left Jenn and I to fend for ourselves for the rest of the day. Our families spoiled the hell out of us and surrounding my tree was a lesson in consumerism and just how excessive americans can be while shopping for loved ones. Presents upon presents upon presents where all there just for us. It's kind of cool to receive but, damn, it makes me feel a little weird getting all of this stuff. But, people give because they want to. I understand, I do the same.
Then we went to eat. We went out to eat at Calhoun's and it was a great dinner. I stuffed myself and now I don't want to eat again. I bet I don't ever eat again.
Xmas is over. Now for the rest of the year until the next one. I miss being away from my family during the holidays. I don't miss them so much during the rest of the year, though. Weird.
Peace on Earth, bitches
J
I must say that I am deeply saddened that I missed my chance to commemorate the life and death of Mr. Ike Turner. I let his passing go unmentioned in this blog (he is perfect fodder for it) and I am sorry to you all for dropping the ball.
Ike is the only man I have ever seen become rich and famous for beating the shit out of his wife. Mr. Turner was the epitome of a douchebag. If he were a white man he would have been resigned to living in a trailer somewhere in Idaho, wearing a wife-beater (which is any shirt, in his case), drinking Pabst Blue Ribbon and beating his locally famous stripper of a wife into being the best titty dancer in the state. But, no. What we got was Ike.
He beat Tina like no other man could and look at her career. Was it his golden backhand that put Tina into national stardom? We shall never know. But, Ike has left us and no one was really saddened. Tina, when asked what she thought of his death, gave a terse "No Comment". She would have every right to unload on Ike then. But, I guess her respect for the dead superseded her hatred of her dead ex. Classy. I would have vented on his dead ass. I, however, have no class (as you well know).
So, I raise a glass to Mr. Ike Turner and give him a hearty goodbye (and good riddance) a few days late. Sorry about that.
"Hit me again, Ike. And this time put some stank on it".
It's no secret, the news media today is a glut of douchebaggery. Mostly the news is bad, filled with hate, violence and theft. It sucks. So, I propose to all the people (both of you) who read this blog to do something nice and totally unexpected this holiday season. Whether your persuasion is Christian, Muslim, Jew, Atheist, or New Yorker, try to be nice at least once over the next two weeks. This gesture does not need to cost much money or any money at all. How, you ask?
For example: buy coffee for an old lady the next time you are ordering your grande-extra-whip-non-fat-mocha-caramel-macchiato at the coffee shop. She'll probably pat you on the back and not curse your good name for having such a complicated drink order. On a side note, if that IS your drink order then you are a douche.
Or, don't kick dirt on the bum asking you for change or tell him to fuck off like you normally do. Hell, that's free. Dirty, stinking, schizophrenic hobos need love too.
Or, don't punch your holiday hooker in the eye after your "session"...that is, unless you pay for such niceties.
Or, just tell your mama you love her. Even if you really don't.
See, it's simple. Spread the cheer my friends. This Hannukah, Christmas, Kwanzaa (if it really exists) be nice to your fellow man, woman, dog, cat, hobo, or hooker. Maybe they'll pass that cheer on, as well.
Take care, fellow Voxters. Happy Holidays (to the holiday to which you subscribe). Peace out.
JRM
So, we finally got to see The Golden Compass. Truthfully, before I went to see the film I could not see why the Christian Militia (aka The Chrisitan Taliban) lobbied so friggin' hard for people to boycott this movie. Now that I have seen the movie, I really can't see why they had their panties in a twist. The movie was right along the same lines as Chronicles of Narnia and the Harry Potter flicks: it's basically kid stuff. But, the movie sure was fun. There were neat special effects and little animals that talked (TALKED!). One thing the movie lacked, however, were direct references to god. The C.M. (the aforementioned Christian Militia) need not worry about their young lambs being corrupted by this one. So, untwist those panties and thump your bibles harder...these are not the droids you are looking for (Star Wars-nerd reference).
So, the books the Golden Compass was (loosely) based on were written by an atheist. So-farking-what? This here journal was written by an agnostic (please don't ban it, C.M., I beg you). Does that change your opinion of it? Or me? If it does then...well...
The Golden Compass is a pretty decent little kids movie. Bottom line. That's it folks, don't look any deeper than that.
Oh yeah, I totally want to be re-incarnated as an Ice Bear.
Sweet.
J
The streetcars in New Orleans are apparently back running. I believe that the importance of this fact cannot be understated. The people of New Orleans love their streetcars and the clattering of those ancient carriages is one of the eccentricities of the city. Now, over two years after the storm, the cars are back in a limited capacity. Not running nearly their full length, service to the fine folks of New Orleans is back running. Good for them.
I spent a little less than two years in the Crescent City (or Chocolate City, if you will) and absolutely hated it at first. But, as with any other virus, the pulse of the city sucks you in and infects you, effectively making it difficult to leave. My wife and I left a year before the storm and, at the time, were very upset about having to go. It turned out to be a blessing, obviously. We did, however, have many friends that weren't so lucky and are, thankfully, now back on their feet. We had great times in the city and can't wait to get back for a visit. I am extremely pleased to see something as seemingly simple as a street car operating. This is big for the city, good for you N'Awlins. I miss ya!
I pretty much despise holiday music. Even the Bing Crosby "classics" that have always been immensely popular...hate 'em. But, there is one area of holiday music that I truly like. I have a fondness for any christmas song sung in Spanish. I love Feliz Navidad, even though it's kind of in Spanglish. But, there is a station on the XM that was playing Jingle Bells, Rudolph and all the classics in Spanish...and I was LOVING it. Now, I want to hit the record stores and get my own copies! Feliz Navidad, chiennes! (Merry Christmas, bitches!).
Much Love
Senior J
Ahhh the holidays. Nothing gets me more revved up that buying tokens of love for my sweetie. This year, I did good. I got her one very nice gift. But, that creates a problem. I now have to comb the various shopping locations around town to find her some smaller things to "round out" her loot stack. That's how I found myself, last night, at the mall. Oh fuck how I hate the mall.
Here are some fun things to despise about the ol' shopping mall on our side of town:
1. Crowds: This one I will put in general. It's friggin' crowded...even at 7:30 on a Thursday. People milling about and hustling to seemingly nowhere. The populace of Knoxville knows little about common courtesy. I was twice pushed aside by passersby and nearly found myself laid out, face-down on the linoleum courtesy of a behomoth woman coming out of the Godiva store.
2. Kids: Or shall I say, teenagers. I work with teenagers and generally really like them. That is, when they are in MY element, the classroom. Out in the wild, I hate the fuckers. I hope to (insert deity of choice here) that I wasn't such a giant douchebag when I was an adolescent. But, I probably was...now I hate myself.
3. No Bookstore: What self respecting shopping mall doesn't have a bookstore? What does that tell you about the people of this town? Say what you will about the people of Knoxville, just don't ever (EVER) call them literate. I always use the bookstore as some sort of refuge from the storm of inhumanity in the main corridors of the mall. Not here. There is no shelter.
4. Salvation Army: I parked a pretty good ways from the door of the mall (it makes for an easier exit) and could hear that constant ringing: ringdingringdingringding. Sure enough, near the entrace was the fattest, greasiest, excuse for a human being ringing the bell for charity. As a walked up, the ring got louder: RINGdingRINGdingRINGding. Incessant and annoying. Upon my exit out the same door, I really REALLY wanted to shove that little bell up his fat, presumably stinky, ass.
5. Overload: There is an economist out there (I will find his name and add it to this) that argues that one problem with the American economy is that there is too great a selection of items. This leads to buyer's regret/remorse. I can see that. People often buy things, second guess themselves, then go and buy the item they "should have bought". It's true. That's why I have two iPods and four guitars. What this great choice does to me is: It freezes me up. Having that much to choose from makes me want to buy nothing. And that's what I bought at our mall: absolutely nothing.
Happy Holidays, Honey. Enjoy your boxes full of nothing.
That's not true, of course. I found some things for her on my way home, at a store I know she likes.
Audio: What's your favorite carol or holiday song?
Feliz Navidad. I dare you to try and not smile while listening to this song. Do you love Xmas? Si, senor!
